


I Can't Believe This

by ThatFilthyAnimal



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Communication, Complicated Relationships, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Healing, Insecurity, Mental Health Issues, Past Sexual Abuse, References to Drugs, Violence, canon happy ending, mostly comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFilthyAnimal/pseuds/ThatFilthyAnimal
Summary: Canon-Compliant starting immediately after Megamind defeats Hal.Being the Defender of Metrocity is not a title one earns easily. Like most things Megamind would like to have, it’s earned with trust. He barely knows the meaning of the word.
Relationships: Megamind & Roxanne Ritchi, Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 46
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a long beast of a fic. I hope you can enjoy! I'm open to suggestions on things people would like to see during this section of the movie, but just know I may not use them. <3

As soon as they drove off, it felt like they could both finally breathe for the first time that day. Megamind couldn't help but laugh exhaustedly as he held onto the wheel, trying to find drivable roads to hopefully make it towards Roxanne's home. It seemed he'd be able to make it, especially now that the roads were mostly cleared from the people that fled the city.

Roxanne slumped back in her seat, letting out a long, drawn out breath in relief. "I can't believe we all _lived_...!"

He nodded, humming his agreement as he watched the road. She looked over to notice his hands were shaking, and he had been compensating for that with a death grip on the wheel.

She reached out to touch his arm, careful to lay her fingers safely between the spikes. "Hey... wait, are you okay?"

He smiled nervously, his eyes darting to her and back to the road a couple times. "Y-yes! Of course, of course...!" He frowned a bit, "That was just... a _lot_ of people."

She gave him a small, sympathetic smile, her face practically glowing in pride. "You did great, Megamind."

His eyes softened as he looked to meet hers for a small moment. "Are we sure I'm not dead? You may need to check." He asked playfully, a few of his fingers lifting off the wheel for effect.

She tried to give his arm a pinch, but the layers of leather were honestly a little too thick to hurt him even slightly. "Hm, nah, pretty sure you still have a pulse."

"Absolutely _incredible_." He breathed happily, looking ahead.

They drove silently for a bit, trying to catch up with everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. It was just starting to get dark, and Roxanne looked out the window at the destruction around them as they drove past. She couldn't shake something she really wanted to ask him.

She turned to him, about to speak, but noticed something ahead of them in the corner of her eye. "--Wait..."

"Yeah." Megamind grumbled, brows furrowing. He'd noticed moments before her and had been probably trying to decide how to warn her. "I don't like this."

They were creeping up on smoke in the distance, higher in the air, and shortly their fears were confirmed as the buildings parted to reveal Roxanne's place, trashed. The windows were broken and smoke still poured out from what they could only assume was from still smoldering laser damage.

"No..." Roxanne pleaded under her breath, not wanting to believe what she was seeing.

Megamind quickly pulled onto the sidewalk and parked the car a few blocks away, brows furrowed in anger and his voice a snarl. "...He _destroyed_ it!"

" _Why_...?" Her voice cracked as she fought tears, which came anyway. This was all exhausting. All she did was try to tell Hal no, and eventually attempt to reason with him.

Megamind angrily sighed, letting go of the wheel to lean back in his seat and stare ahead, frustrated. He admitted somberly, "...This is my fault."

She was fighting to wipe tears out of her eyes and sniffled, managing to shakily squeak out, " _No_. No... this is... this is _beyond_ what you would've done."

She knew that, because she _had_ rejected him, and the most he'd done was walk away.

Roxanne sat there, hugging herself and trying to collect her thoughts as Megamind silently fumed, his lingering guilt eating at him. No matter what she said, he’d still given Hal those powers, and without that, Roxanne could have been home right now, and neither of them would have been in this disaster to begin with.

"Well..." He started after a while, tapping his steering wheel idly with his fingertips. He needed to think positive. "Don't worry, we'll get you a nice hotel to stay at while I have the brainbots fix your place up! The brainbots can find your things tonight, and we can wash whatever survived at the Evil Lair--"

“ _No_...!" She blurted, scaring both of them a little. She swallowed and suddenly couldn't look at him at all, not to save her damn life, feeling ashamed to admit, "I mean... I don't think I want to be alone right now."

He turned in his seat to face her, leaning in a little to make sure she knew he was listening. "Do you... want me to go with you?"

She shook her head 'no', ashamed of herself for what she was about to say, "I want to go home with _you_."

His eyes widened and he sat back as he searched her expression for some sort of lie, confused. "To the Evil Lair? With me...?"

She nodded sadly, not looking at him, not wanting him to keep seeing her crying like this. She was already feeling vulnerable enough.

He wasn't about to argue that. He steeled himself and looked ahead again, putting the car back in drive and heading for the Lair. They drove the rest of the way in mournful silence as he and Roxanne collected their thoughts.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

As the Invisible Car pulled into the Evil Lair, it was apparent that the brainbots had already brought Minion back as well, as he was happily approaching the car in a backup version of his gorilla suit. If Roxanne hadn't seen the other one impaled, she would have never realized that he actually was wearing a spare.

As Megamind stepped out from the car, Minion couldn't help but unceremoniously clutch him and pull him into his chest in a hug that could not _possibly_ be comfortable. Megamind squawked in protest, prying himself off of Minion with a laugh. "I know...! I know!"

"We did it, Sir!" Minion beamed with joy as he fluttered in his tank, his robot body letting him go.

Megamind nodded with a smile as he caught his footing, tiredly. "Yes, we definitely did it."

Minion glanced over in his tank and snapped to standing straight in his gorilla body as he noticed Roxanne with surprise. "Miss Ritchi! Wait, I thought you were going ho-"

"Negative, Minion." Megamind interrupted as Roxanne sheepishly walked up to them from the other side of the car, looking quite done for the day as she smiled sadly. Megamind explained, his expression saddening. "It turns out, she can't."

Minion's eyes darted between the two of them, connecting the dots as he noticed that Roxanne looked like she had been crying recently. His fins drooped as he stepped forward and opened his arms to offer a much more gentle hug to her. "Oh no, Miss Ritchi... That's horrible! Here, here...!"

Roxanne didn't fight it, letting out a sad laugh as she returned the hug with happy, closed eyes. Minion had done so much for her today, and it was all _so much_. She pulled from his hug, looking up at him with glossy, thankful eyes that were fighting not to cry all over again. "...Thank you for saving me, Minion."

Minion fluttered his fins and made a sheepish face as he looked away. If he could blush, he would have. "Ah, it was nothing, Miss Ritchi. I'm just glad you both made it out okay."

Megamind was just smiling proudly at the two of them, crossing his arms and clearing his throat to get their attention again. "Ahem~! Minion, I'll have the brainbots bring her things here, so if her clothes are in any way salvageable, could you-"

"Of course!" Minion answered, already knowing where he was going with that. Minion turned to Roxanne again, "Don't worry, Miss Ritchi! I've got tons of practice from his stuff getting messed up _all_ the time."

Roxanne smiled at the two of them. It was cute watching them play so well off of each other. "Thanks so much, you guys."

Megamind excitedly clapped his hands together, leading her into the Lair's quarters. "Well, let's show you around!"

She gave Megamind a small nudge, leaning in to whisper jokingly, "Wait, are you sure he can do that _without_ embroidering lightning bolts onto all of my clothes?"

Megamind's brow furrowed, as he answered a little _too_ genuinely, whispering back, "What? I don't know, but _probably_! Anyway, this way-!"

\---

It had been maybe a half hour of being shown around and joking and chatting between the three of them, and Roxanne couldn't help but yearn for somewhere to just- rest. Seeing the black leather couch in front of their TV, thankfully NOT covered in spikes, she tapped Megamind's arm as she nodded her head in it's direction. "Hey, if you don't mind I- would really like to sit and just.. relax for the rest of the evening."

He took a large exhale of relief. If he was being honest, he was sore as hell and with his adrenaline fully worn off, resting sounded _wonderful_. " _Please_."

"Yes yes," Minion chirped next to them. "You two sit, I'll see if I can make something for you to eat- I bet you're both starving!"

Megamind couldn't even remember the last time he ate. Neither could Roxanne. They had both been so gutted after their fight the night before, that neither of them had done a very good job taking care of themselves. "Oh god... Yes, you do that...!"

As Minion shuffled off, Roxanne took a seat. Megamind was shortly after, sitting with her but giving her a _lot_ of distance between them. She took notice, but didn't question it. Neither of them were super sure of their romantic status, so it made sense that he'd take the side of caution. Megamind took to the remote, turning on the TV right away out of habit.

It hadn't occurred to either of them that the first thing they'd see would, undoubtedly, be news footage of the current state of the city, broken apart in ruins as Hal's damage was painfully apparent.

Roxanne pulled her legs up onto the couch, hugging her knees. "Well, I see Joe is okay..."

"Joe?" Megamind asked, looking straight ahead at the TV in wide-eyed horror as reality slapped him in the face again.

Right, this was _his_ fault.

"Yeah, my coworker. He's a good dude, covers me when I need vacation time and days off." She sighs. "I'm... thinking I'm due to take one."

Megamind nodded, unable to take his eyes off the TV, looking on sadly. There was _so much_ damage, more than he himself had ever done, and without Metro Man doing his job to help, the city looked utterly helpless in its current state.

There was no hero there to pick up the pieces anymore. And here he was, sitting around waiting just like anyone else, hoping some great force would appear and fix it.

Roxanne could see his distress, and the look of pained guilt on his face. She moved closer to him and put her hand over his on the remote, changing the channel one station away.

This station was just cartoons, and he shrank a little, still looking ahead at it as he bit his lip. He hated it as she pulled away- her touch felt so _nice_ and comforting. He instead opted to toss the remote aside and try to lay back and relax beside her. No matter how much he tried, his mind was a mess, reeling to try to find some sort of solution, to everything but really just... ANYTHING.

He let out a long, pained noise in tired anger and leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands.

Roxanne watched him and frowned, sympathetic. "...What's going on?"

He rubbed his face, as if trying to wipe the thoughts from his head. He didn't look up, and his voice was tired. "Should I make a _list_?"

She let out a small huff of air through her nose and leaned down, tilting her head as she tried to look at his face. "Probably. How about you just tell me instead?"

"No." He grumbled, not finding the gesture sweet at all. He wasn't used to talking about his feelings, and he wasn't planning to start _now_ when everything felt so raw and awful.

She couldn't say she was surprised. She sighed. "You're so damn stubborn." She leaned back in her seat, looking up at the crazy high lair ceiling.

He removed his hands to turn to her and protest, but Minion interrupted with two platefuls of food. "Here you go! I hope this works, Miss Ritchi! If I need to change anything, let me know, okay?"

They both took the plates, Megamind staying silent and processing in his frustrations while Roxanne nodded to him, thankful. "Oh, I'm sure it's fine. Thank you so much, Minion...!"

"Sure!" Minion fluttered his fins happily. He couldn't help but glimpse over at his Sir, who was looking pretty mournful as he forced himself to shove food in his face. Minion's fins stopped as he visibly saddened.

Roxanne mouthed to Minion, 'Is he okay?' and Minion nervously shrugged his suit. That didn't seem comforting. Minion audibly replied to her, softly, aware Megamind could hear him, but clearly not very worried about it. "He just gets like this sometimes. He'll be fine."

Megamind shot him an unthrilled look, and his glare told Minion to scurry off. As Minion left, they went back to eating in silence, with nothing else but the distant sound of the tv which had been at low volume. The food was so good, she thought, but it wasn't like she could ignore the brooding blue man on the other end of the couch.

As he finished his plate, he handed it off to a nearby brainbot without even looking at it, as if he could do such a thing in his sleep. The brainbot bowged happily at him, and floated off to the kitchen area with it. As Roxanne finished her plate, she tried the same, spotting a nearby brainbot perched on a cabinet that eagerly floated down to take it away for her when she offered it.

They were kind of cute, she thought to herself, remembering that they were still a creation of Megamind's and thus, he'd made them act this way on purpose.

He quietly spoke, his voice soft and obviously only intended for her to hear as he looked ahead, staring through the tv. "Roxanne?"

She looked over at him, her voice quiet as well to match his. "Yes?"

He swallowed sharply and opened his mouth for a moment, closing it with a frustrated frown as he searched for his words. "...What do I have to do to _fix_ this?"

He was asking her? She straightened a little at that, looking away in thought. "Well... God, I don't know. I mean, obviously the city is going to need to rebuild, and so many of our major landmarks are-"

"No." He stopped her with a low tone, irritation growing in his voice. He still couldn't look at her, but it was clear he was just being guarded. "I mean, _us_."

Her mouth hung open as she looked at him sadly. She swallowed and looked away, unable to take seeing him like this when she felt equally horrible about everything, herself. She muttered quietly. "I... don't know, Megamind. I don't think we can properly _talk_ about that right now. I don't know about you, but I'm... _so_ tired."

As he laid there, his back sinking against the fluffy couch's cushion which had been supporting his head comfortably, he hummed a little sadly. He didn't really want to pressure her about this, especially since it was clear she couldn't safely _leave_ anywhere if he upset her by senselessly pressing the issue. He figured the worst and decided instead to drop the subject. He closed his eyes, as if hoping he could just sleep right there. "...That's fair."

His eyes cracked back open with vague curiousness as he heard her shuffle next to him and felt the couch shift under him, but they shot open like saucers as he realized she had laid down along the length of the couch, and was now resting her head on his thigh, facing him as she curled into a bit of a ball. He lifted his arm, unsure where to set it, and opted to carefully rest his hand on her shoulder. He stared at her, confused. So, what, were they okay then? What was she trying to tell him with this?

"Don't overthink it." She mumbled quietly. "Mm'tired." She closed her eyes, appreciating how warm he felt. His expression softened, still taking this as a somewhat-win. He continued to try to watch the TV as they stayed there quietly, and it wasn't long before he heard her breathing go a little shallower, deeper.

She was asleep.

On him.

His heart did a little happy dance as he smiled.

He looked down at her, a little afraid to do _anything_. Even breathing could be a risk, probably, and maybe he should stop. He didn't want her to wake up and change her mind.

He soon shyly stretched out a finger from his place on her shoulder and nudged away a small tuft of hair that had been swept forward, almost falling into her eyes. Her hair was _so soft_. In fact, everything about her seemed soft. Worrying about seeming weird or creepy, he didn't dare do more and instead settled where he was, getting very comfy with his head leaning back into the fluffy backrest of the couch.

Soon, he'd fallen asleep as well. Shortly after that, Minion crept up to lightly drop a spare blanket over Roxanne and turn off the TV.


	3. Chapter 3

Light was creeping into the unblocked windows to the Lair, and a beam of particularly aggressive light caught one of Roxanne's eyes just right. She winced and wriggled, burying her face a little more into Megamind's thigh.

Wait.

She opened her eyes, freezing where she was.

_Where_ , now?

She looked straight ahead, eyes going wide as she noted the unmistakable blue lightning bolt design in front of her face, and the studded belt and metal logo inches from her.

The events of everything flooded back, and she internally screamed at her snap decision to lay like this on him, but remained still. She wasn't awake enough to deal with the aftermath of- _this_ , if he woke now. She glanced up at him, and he seemed to still be completely out. His chest rose and fell calmly, and his expression was one of the softest and most relaxed she'd ever seen him.

'Aww.' she thought. 'If only he was like this all the time. It's almost as if he could be capable of being sweet.'

She laid there for a while, realizing she kiiind of needed to pee, but not enough to move yet. She let out a small sigh, and noticed that his hand had fallen from her shoulder at some point and was now resting loosely above her breasts, brushing her collarbone. If he had been someone else, literally anyone else, he would have been dead on the spot, but she knew he wouldn't _dare_ try such a thing with her, and definitely not in her sleep. She'd likely break his legs, and he very much knew it. So she gave him a small, temporary pass.

Also, he smelled... good? Obviously of leather, metal, motor oil... and cologne?

Did he still have cologne on from their date? How the hell had it not worn off of his skin by now?

She sighed. She admitted to herself that this was... nice. Very nice. It reminded her of her time with 'Bernard'. She debated on whether or not this was stockholm syndrome, maybe, but quickly dismissed the thought. No, this was just the result of a lot of... very complicated and crazy events. And as much as she hated admitting it, not all of them were his fault, at least not this time.

After a little more time, she decided that, no, she needed to _go_. She was going to have to try to get off of him without waking him, and maybe, just maybe, she could get away with coming back and wriggling into place without him noticing if he turned out to be a hard enough sleeper. She tried to move, quietly, but as soon as her shoulder brushed along his outer thigh his eyes opened and his head snapped down to look at her.

"AHHH!" He panicked, making her yell just as loud as he flailed frantically, enough to accidently roll her off the couch and onto the floor, now twisted into the blanket in a heap. He had pulled his legs all the way up onto the couch as he panted to catch his breath, his hands sprawled way out from his sides and fingers digging into the leather. Roxanne made a gurgling noise from the floor.

"Whyareyoulikethis?" she muttered in the blanket, unmoving.

He regained his senses and crawled on his hands and knees over the edge of the couch, looking over it at her. "Uh. Sorry...?" He smiled with sympathy as he scrunched his shoulders.

She swatted her hand at the air right in front of his face, making him back off. She fought out of the blanket and stood up, tossing the blanket straight at his face. He made an 'oof' as she did, pulling it down just in time to see her shaking her head and heading to the restroom. He looked at the blanket, unsure how it got there- likely from Minion. Yes, it had to be Minion, since neither of them had moved.

He sighed, deflating as he leaned back in the spot where he'd previously been, looking up at the windows that were brightly illuminating the lair through panes of mis-matched tints of clear glass from years and years of age. The events of yesterday, and the day before that, both flooded back to him, and he closed his eyes tightly with a sad grumble.

Right, back to work.

\--

Roxanne was so happy to be able to have a moment to wash her face and regain some sense of looking _nice_ after being treated like a total ragdoll. She'd of done it the night before, but of course she'd been way too tired to care about anything. She stood there at the sink for a few moments, leaning her hands on it and staring at herself in the mirror. How the hell did she get _here_ , of all places? It was hard to believe. Here she was, in Megamind's very own lair, absolutely unprepared for her in any way, but it somehow... felt like it worked. Minion certainly was kind to her, hopefully not just out of obligation, and Megamind, well- was weird, but clearly wanted to have her around in some way.

Mostly romantically.

She sighed, turning away from the mirror and hugging herself. Looking around the fairly normal restroom, she stared into the shower stall and looked over at the bottles of, well- probably not shampoo. Maybe shampoo. Definitely shampoo in there. Why the hell does he need shampoo? She shook her head. He was so weird. But she was relieved that instead of the horrible bachelor pad she kind of expected from single guys of their age, the place was kept clean where it mattered. And not in a panicked 'Oh, mom is coming over' sort of way.

She noticed a black towel hanging, embroidered with his classic lightning bolts. She smiled at it. Damn, he was so _extra_ about everything. She had a brief thought, hesitated, but stepped over to it.

It was weird, and she knew it, but she wanted to know.

She brushed her hands under the soft fabric and lifted it, breathed in gently, trying to have another chance to know what he smelled like. To her disappointment, it really didn't smell like anything. Maybe the vaguest scent of soap? She lowered her shoulders with a frown, feeling stupid for doing something so _weird_ and yet not getting any reward for it. She tried to forget what she'd just done, stepping out of the bathroom and just hoping she hadn't been blushing. She acknowledged that it was kind of creepy, and swore to not think about doing it again.

They weren't dating anymore anyway. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the short chapters! They all get much longer from Chapter 4 on~! Sorry, I couldn't pace the chapters better than this with how they were. I hope you enjoy the next one as it goes up, because it's a doozy and I'm really excited to post it because I spent waaay too much time editing/changing it. :x


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love feedback on this chapter! It's been a doozy to edit.
> 
> I couldn't find much canon evidence of Metro City knowing that Megamind and Metro Man are aliens, just supers. I think we all kind of collectively assumed Metro City knew? But maybe not. I decided to run with that idea.
> 
> I promised longer chapters from this point on and, oh, you're getting 'em!

Megamind was standing at his Idea Wall, rubbing his chin. He was back in his trademark spiked collar and cape, and his eyes darted from page to page while he looked frustrated in thought. She approached him as he plucked a paper and crumpled it up, tossing the ball behind him, uncaring where it would end up.

He noticed her beside him, but didn't say anything as they locked eyes for a brief soft moment as he shot her a small smile. Just as quickly, he nervously turned back to his papers, scanning them and plucking another down and crumpling it as well.

"Hiding something?" She teased.

"Yes, but it's none of your business...!" He huffed truthfully, a blush creeping across his cheeks much to his disapproval. She laughed.

"Ah, well, I'll leave you to your sins, then." She said with a smirk, giving him a tiny pat on the arm before walking off to look around the lair some more.

"Uh, Sir...?" Minion called from the laundry room to the side of the Lair, "You left something in your pockets!"

Megamind tsk'd with annoyance, rolling his eyes and yelling back. "Yeah, I likely did!"

"No Sir," Minion's tone hinting at something much more worrying. "You really need to come check this one!"

Confused, Megamind turned and headed for the laundry room, already complaining before hitting the doorway. "Can't you see I'm busy? I- AHHHH!"

Megamind's shriek was unexpectedly loud, and as he clamped his hands over his mouth the moment he realized. Minion slapped a metal hand over Megamind's hands for good measure.

He slid his hands slid down his face in wide-eyed exasperation. Literally hanging out of his washing machine was a freshly unconscious Bernard. His dehydration cube clearly ended up in the wash. "Ohhhhh no... No no no..." He didn't even have time to fully react before Roxanne peeked around the corner, wondering what could have made him yell like that.

She froze, staring blankly into the room just behind Megamind. She had no words. Why was the real Bernard here? Why was he unconscious? She whipped in Megamind's direction and the moment he noticed her he winced and drew back in case she decided to give him hell. "Megamind, what the ACTUAL hell is this...?!"

Minion backed off, knowing better than to attempt to hold her back. Sir was on his own with this one.

Megamind swallowed sharply, holding up his hands in defense, his voice nervous. "Listen, I don't know why either! Let's just relax!"

"Relax?" Roxanne's voice cracked, and she held her head in her hands for a brief moment before gesturing to the unconscious man hanging out of the washer. "How long has he been here?!"

Megamind couldn't do much but be high on the defense, growing annoyed with her yelling and raising his tone right back. "Why do YOU care?!"

"Why do I care? The REAL Bernard has a life and home and job and bills and-" She paled, "God, possibly even pets that have died in the time you've held him captive here!"

He frowns, his whole body tense as he yells back. "He doesn't HAVE pets! I checked! And all of his bills I could find were PAID!"

Roxanne was admittedly surprised someone as evil as him took that sort of time for someone he didn't know, but considering he needed the real Bernard to be MIA while he took his form to date _her_ made her absolutely sick. She held her stance. "...With whose money?"

"MINE!" He barked.

"That you STOLE!" She barked back.

Minion was honestly a little afraid. It wasn't uncommon for Roxanne to yell and retaliate when mad at Megamind for capturing her, but rarely had he even so much as seen Megamind THINK about raising his voice to her. "Um, not to interrupt, but... Who is this guy?"

Megamind and Roxanne both turn from one another to him in an instant and without missing a beat to answer angrily, Roxanne yelled "Bernard!" at the same time as Megamind yelled "No one!"

Minion quickly shot down with a spray of bubbles, hiding in his tank.

Megamind and Roxanne both went quiet in thought as Minion creeped to peek over the rim of his fishbowl to see if they were done having their spat, returning to his normal spot again. He tapped his robot fingers together, looking at them and back to Bernard. "Um. Should I know ANYTHING about this?"

Megamind sighed, sounding quite defeated. " _No_."

"Wait- you didn't tell Minion?" Roxanne was absolutely confused by this. Minion shrugged. Megamind grumbled something that was probably an expletive under his breath. Roxanne continued, "You tell him everything, though."

"No, I _don't_." Megamind mocked, "Minion's my friend, but it's not like I can explain EVERYTHING to him." He turns away to take a couple of steps towards the washer, finally looking Bernard over for injuries.

"Right. Fish brain and all." Minion said sheepishly. He really wasn't that offended by his Sir's comment, it was true. Besides, Megamind had to have SOME privacy if the two of them were going to get along for their entire lives. Though Minion would happily be there for all of it, if Megamind allowed him.

Minion stepped towards Bernard and carefully lifted him out of the machine, setting him on the ground and leaning him against the washer, making sure to straighten out his outfit and pluck the stray socks and things off of him.

Megamind stood there with his arms crossed, brow furrowed angrily, mostly at himself, and biting his lip as he stared down at the man who's image he had used to date the girl of his dreams. And with her right here, all of those wounds were ripped right open for everyone around him to pour salt in. "I'll... be honest, I didn't entirely make a plan on how to explain everything to him."

Roxanne gawked at him, her tone cold. "But you planned far enough that you paid his bills."

"Yes. Well, that seemed _practical_." He sighed. "But every time I considered rehydrating him, well..." He glanced at her nervously and away from her just as fast. "Things came up."

Roxanne had no words. She would've expected as much from a notorious supervillain that regularly scared the city with his inventions, but this one just didn't sit well. This wasn't normal. His inventions didn't actually _hurt_ people. But taking a person away from their daily life for weeks, dehydrated as one of those stupid cubes? "How could you...?"

His eyes widened as he straightened nervously and looked at her, quickly looking upset and falling to the defensive again. God, he was so tired of everything. "Okay, okay, I get it, not my most well thought-out plan...!" He sighed. "What do you want me to do about it _now_...?"

Roxanne was hugging herself, finding herself unable to deal with being so angry for much longer. She was still so, SO exhausted from the last few days, and while she was disgusted with Megamind for this, all she felt was... tired. "...Stop forcing him to live in your lie, for starters. You owe him a HUGE apology."

Megamind could feel the tension in every muscle of his body, and he quietly cursed under his breath. The last thing he was good at was apologies. He'd already shown Roxanne that much that night in the rain. But she was right. Without looking up at his friend, he spoke firmly. "Minion, wake him."

Opening a latch to the stomach of his robot suit, Minion reached in to grab what must have been a can of spray that had wakening effects, shaking it a bit before spraying the strange new man.

Roxanne continued to hug herself as Megamind stood, more straight-faced and serious than he usually was. His discomfort was clear as day, but he was clearly putting on a front as the city's villain like it was something he just snapped into with a click. Bernard stirred and groaned, blinking in confusion before rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "Oww. Oh my god, my head."

"Yes yes, a temporary side effect." Megamind hurriedly commented, motioning to the man to stand up. "Give it 24 hours for all the effects to wear off, the dehydration gun's effects are just stronger the longer you've been cubed."

Bernard looked totally lost as he wobbly stood up, leaning his weight against the washer as his eyes refocused on the bodies in front of him. As his vision cleared, he let out an unimpressed huff. "Really? What convention did you take me to? Your cosplay is good, but you're not convincing me, bud." He adjusted his glasses. "Megamind's head isn't nearly that lar-"

Megamind's shoulders dropped as he hung his head, his hands reaching out in the air as he visibly resisted the urge to strangle this man. "Oh, shut up...! Just shut up, you absolute tool...!"

Minion lightly tapped his tank with a metal finger as he looked on in confusion. "Why does he think we're fake?"

"He's one of THOSE fanboys that can never be wrong." Megamind grumbled, rubbing his temples before looking back up at the man with as much calm as he can muster. "Listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've missed a lot, and it's better you go scurry on home and watch the news for a few days."

Roxanne jabbed Megamind's side, making him jolt. "No. Tell him." She insisted. Megamind slumped with a groan and scowled.

"Okaaay okaay. Annnnnd Imighthaveusedyourimageinmydiguisewatchtodatesomeoneanditwentonmuchtoolongandbackfiredstaightintomyface." He turned to Roxanne, asking like a bratty child, "THERE. Happy?"

Roxanne tilted her hand in an "ehhh" motion at him, at the very least giving him credit for actually doing it. She collected herself and stepped further into the room to approach the man that looked exactly like the one she had been beginning to fall in love with before everything went so horribly wrong.

"Bernard," she started, and Megamind naturally turned to look at her, quickly remembering she was now NOT directing that name at him. His heart sank as he quietly stepped out of her way as she approached the man. "I'm sorry, but this is very much real."

Bernard seemed confused as hell, but seemed to take the reality of Roxanne herself not being a cosplay a little better. "Aren't you... Roxanne Ritchi? Metro Man's girlfriend?"

Megamind made a gross gagging noise behind her, and she rolled her eyes at both _him_ and the fact that this rumor still hadn't died with Metro Man's career. "Close enough, yeah. I'm Roxanne Ritchi." She offered her hand to shake, and Megamind began to watch him like a hawk.

Bernard shook her hand and they started to chat, Roxanne exhaustedly explaining the situation in a bit more detail, knowing Megamind would never give it proper effort and Minion didn't have any true idea what was happening. Megamind felt some relief, but also couldn't shake the anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach.

Here was the woman of his fondest dreams, talking to the real Bernard. Touching his hand, chit chatting with him as if she knew him the whole time, laughing with him. He started to tune it all out as he stood back with his arms over his chest. The world slowed to a crawl around him as he ignored them, staring idly at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. The noise from them was becoming deafening, and he quietly wished more than anything that he could just... disappear.

"Sir!" Minion's voice cleared the fog away in a quick snap as Megamind's eyes pinned and blinked, causing him to quickly shake his head and look up at his friend.

Minion floated in his bowl, looking worried. "Are you alright? You weren't responding."

Megamind looked over at Roxanne and Bernard, who were clearly waiting for some sort of answer to something. "I- Uh, Mm. Yeah, I wasn't listening."

Roxanne sighed. "Did his phone get left in the museum? He doesn't have it."

"His phone...?" Megamind's voice quieted in realization. He'd had the phone on him for weeks now, and he'd originally been using said phone to message _her_ daily. "I... uhm... yes, let me get it, it's uh, it's in the car!"

He awkwardly shuffled out of the room in a hurry, cussing multiple explitaves under his breath as he slipped through the lair around a wall to pull the phone from a pocket and clear anything he'd done on it. He paused as he opened it and sighed, his heart sinking as the reality of everything caught up with him. He hadn't bothered to look at the phone since their failed date, but yet the messages on it continued to exist, like the world's most heartbreaking time capsule.

He saddened as he glanced through the messages. He'd kept them all. Every date request, every 'good night', every useless smiley face- every message was one she had sent out of what he could only hope had been love.

For a person who didn't exist.

A person that he could never be.

He made a point to try to forget it all as he stood and bitterly deleted every message, one-by-one. It had hurt so unexpectedly bad in a way he definitely couldn't even explain to himself, but he managed to hold it together. He couldn't afford to go back to those three looking like a mess, and he made a note to save that nagging mental breakdown for later when he'd have some more privacy to properly deal with it.

As he deleted the very last message, he stared at the phone for a moment and let out a tired, sad sigh and chewed on his lip. That was it.

In the end, he couldn't even have _this_.

He didn't know if he was going to be able to hold himself together for another moment, and much to his discomfort, Roxanne's voice startled him just as he had been trying to discard those aggressively loud thoughts he hadn't wanted to hear. "...Megamind?"

He snapped the phone shut loudly and turned to her, unable to speak. He wasn't sure if she'd figured out he had been using Bernard's actual phone, and he wasn't sure if she'd find it creepy that he'd stuffed away so many useless messages like precious love notes. He clenched his jaw, and was luckily able to speak without his voice shaking. "...Yes?"

She tilted her head a little as she looked at the phone in his hand. He absolutely radiated his discomfort, and it honestly made her feel... very uncomfortable. He looked at her with his bright green eyes that looked like he'd been possibly fighting back tears for the last couple of minutes, but she decided not to draw attention to it. He loved his pride, after all, and after everything they'd experienced recently, she'd let him have this moment of it. "I... started to wonder if you just ran off and left us here."

He squeezed the phone in his hand and turned to head back to their laundry room, breaking eye contact. "I wish." He grumbled, trying to just... get away from her. Something. Anything.

He froze when he felt her hand softly lay between his shoulder blades, and slowly turned to look at her with a confused and unintentionally angry stare.

She pulled her hand back, not wanting to upset him further. She knew he was weird about being touched most of the time, and wasn't about to test his limits today. "Hey... Are you okay?"

He huffed through his nose, looking away. "No, but it's fine."

She stood there and stared at him, much longer than he would have liked, and he felt his anxiety getting louder as she stood there and analyzed him. Roxanne sighed, wishing he wasn't so hard to talk to when he gets upset at something. She was aware the two of them had a massive amount of history and baggage to unpack still if things were ever going to get resolved, but right now was definitely not the time to address it. She opted for the more comforting route. "Thank you for doing this for him. Listen... I'm sorry I yelled, but sometimes... I just don't understand you." She laughed dryly. "Not for a lack of trying, of course."

He wasn't sure how to take that. "...Thanks, I guess?"

She realized how weird that came out, and waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, I know, that sucked. I just... I worry about you."

It hit a nerve he wasn't aware had been exposed. He frowned, growling out his words. " _Don't_." He turned away from her and walked away, completely brushing her off.

He was way better at being _alone_.

And he certainly didn't need _anyone_ to care about him.

Especially not _now_.

"Anyway, here you go, Museum Guy." Megamind grumbled as he tossed the phone to Bernard from the doorway without much other warning. Bernard fumbled but caught it, about to start yelling about throwing his things, but not before Megamind cut him off. "Minion, blindfold this nerd and take him home."

Before Minion or Bernard could protest, Megamind turned around to leave, bumping straight into Roxanne who made a startled sound. He panicked, quickly reaching for her arms to check for punctures. "Oh-! Oh god, I'm sorry! These spikes are really sharp, I should have looked-"

She smiled sadly and put her hand to his chest, gently pushing him off of her with a small laugh in her voice. "Good lord, Megamind, I'm fine. They didn't even scratch me."

He let out a relieved sigh, still feeling that weird twist of anxiety and anger lingering in his gut, but still glad he didn't hurt her. Well, again.

"So you're really Megamind." Bernard gawked from a distance, still sounding disgustingly smug.

Megamind looked super unimpressed as he turned around, facing the man he REALLY didn't want to get to know any more than he already had. "Wow, about time you figured it out. Bravoooo!" He gave a slow clap in sarcasm.

"Huh. Wild." Bernard seemed to believe him now, and was super unprepared for anything he would have even wanted to ask the real, living, breathing, evil overlord himself. "Tell me, can you answer something for my friends and I before I leave? We've wanted to know something for a VERY long time, and, well, when else would we have the chance to-"

"Yeah, yeah," Megamind grumped. "Get on with it."

"Well," Bernard started. "The lore between Metro Man and you goes back extremely far. However, beyond a certain point there's... literally no information on you."

Megamind glared, not liking where this was going.

Bernard cleared his throat, admittedly intimidated by the villain's glare. "We... we want to know where you came from. There's a lot of speculation, and it'd be nice to finally clear that up and have concrete facts."

Megamind looked absolutely insulted. "...Where I _came from_? What, do you think I was hatched in a lab or something?"

Bernard put his hands up defensively. "No, not exactly. We don't know _anything_. But it's... most commonly assumed that you're not from here at all."

Megaminds eyes widened.

Roxanne looked at Minion, who was remaining awfully silent.

"You're saying you think I'm an alien." Megamind said matter-of-factly in a tone coated in venom.

"Well. Yeah, a lot of people do." Bernard answered nervously, noticing Megamind's change in attitude.

If looks could kill, Bernard would have dropped dead on the spot. Megamind stepped towards Bernard, taking loud, deliberate steps as he leaned in to the man and slammed his palm against the washer behind him to startle him, his voice was quiet and threatening, and very much unlike his usual self. "Tell me," he hissed, his tone nearly a whisper, but still loud enough the others could hear, "Why no one suspects _shit_ of Metro Man, the man with super strength and the ability to fucking _fly_ , yet I'm always the one everyone assumes isn't _human_?" He growls out the last word. Bernard looks absolutely stunned, and shrinks back as much as he can.

Minion steps forward nervously. "Sir?"

Bernard is silent, afraid to say the wrong thing. Megamind knows his answer though, and finishes what he wants to say sharply, with zero hesitation in his words. "All of you lucky bastards get to live simple lives with everything you want practically handed to you. Meanwhile I've had to work my entire life for _scraps_." Bernard swears Megamind's eyes are glowing green as the blue man growls inches from his face. Are they really glowing? Is he actually growling like an animal? It's terrifying. "You want to tell them where I'm from? Tell them I'm from _Hell_."

Bernard opens his mouth to attempt to diffuse the situation, but turns a distorted blue and evaporates into a blue cube in front of Megamind's face, falling to the ground with a gentle 'tink' as it bounces aside. Megamind blinks and hesitates before turning to Minion, who is still holding out the dehydration gun in his direction. He's still reeling from anger he has no more outlet for, but understands exactly why Minion did it. He holds his head in his hands and lets out an exhausted, shaky breath as he leans against the washer.

Minion opens the stomach compartment again, setting the De-Gun back inside. He looks sympathetic, but mostly concerned. The door closes with a metal clunk. "Sir, that's enough. You need to calm down... Tell you what, I'll take this guy home and we can talk about this later. I-If you want. Okay?"

Roxanne is staring on in shock. She doesn't know how, but she's seen _so many_ new sides of Megamind in the last few days, someone who she thought she'd known at least somewhat well for decades.

She's suddenly very unsure if she likes ANY side of him. The parts of him she liked the most felt so brief, and just as quickly would come times like this, where she no longer knew what to do with him, and questioned his true intentions.

She turns to Minion, softly insisting, "I-I'll go with you. I'll help make sure he's got everything he needs to be caught up with everything. He'll need to figure out if he has a job anymore, now that his job at the museum is _destroyed_." She adds that last point with a hint of deliberacy, knowing Megamind will hear it and back off.

Minion flutters his fins happily. "Oh, uhm... Sure! I wouldn't mind the company. It'd be a huge help!"

Megamind was quiet.

Roxanne looked over at him, a hint of fear on her face that she was obviously trying to smother with a weak smile. "Hey, it's going to be alright. I'll see if we can bring you back something to eat, okay?"

Megamind nodded, pulling his hands down from his face, clearly still upset but not wanting to talk any more about it.

Minion gathered the cube and led Roxanne to the invisible car, farther into the other side of the Lair. She felt nauseous as she approached it, unsure how to feel about not being able to fully leave and just go _home_. At least Minion was mostly safe, and she could ask him for advice during their outing. He knew Megamind best, after all.

As she opened the door, she looked back to where Megamind headed- towards his idea wall. He looked absolutely done in every sense of the word.

She jumped in her skin as she saw him suddenly throw his arm back and punch a nearby metal cabinet, severely denting it. He held his fist there for a moment as his shoulders soon slowly sunk. She couldn't see his face, but could only imagine what had to be going on in his head. It was impressive how much strength he was hiding behind that punch, much more than she had assumed his smaller frame could do. She had clearly underestimated him- he was much stronger than he looked. He had to be, she guessed, if he could keep up at all with Metro Man tossing him about.

She had to wonder if that punch was what he'd have done to Bernard if Minion hadn't stopped him. She felt nauseated as she considered it. Surely he wouldn't?

"It's okay." Minion chirped from the driver's side of the car, catching her attention. "He'd never do that to someone else unless they reeeeaaaally deserved it." His words were soft as he knowingly tilted his head to ask her to get in the car and give his Sir some time to himself. Roxanne got inside and sunk in the passenger seat.

She wanted so much to believe him, but the truth was, after all these years, she was realizing she barely knew Megamind at all.

Maybe this was a mistake.

\--

His breathing was slow and heavy as he stood there oddly still, fist still pressing against the cold, bent metal. His knuckles burned. He was leaned forward, mouth open as he hissed out every breath, fighting against every single urge to break down in front of his friends. He couldn't. Not now.

God, _not now_.

But every fiber of his being felt like it was on fire. His entire world had been changed on him yet again, literally overnight. Any structure his small fragile world had held onto within the chaos of the last few days had crumbled around him just as he had thought he'd painstakingly pieced it back together.

And now Roxanne was afraid to be alone with him.

He growled softly, deep in the back of his throat, clearly not a normal sound, and definitely not _human_. He hated how good it felt to let the sound out, it was rare he ever did, but it was oddly soothing. Familiar.

_Vile_.

"...Alien." he whispered under his breath, still staring at the ground as he fought to regain control of himself.

Was that it that was eating at him? The total loss of control? He let out an exhausted huff of breath at the thought, his body softening and letting go of tension as he mentally scrambled for any other thought to hang on to. He needed to get away from this feeling, but it was so unbearably _loud_.

Was giving back the phone really messing with him that badly?

No. Not the phone.

It was accepting the truth, that Roxanne would never want him, not as himself, not an alien. And the bitter reminder that he didn't look _anything_ human, for that matter.

People literally get together to speculate with each other on why his looks would mean he was from another _planet_. Of course Roxanne would never want to live a life with him.

He was oh so painfully aware of this. He had always been, from the very beginning.

If he was honest with himself, he absolutely felt like he deserved it. He'd made a lifetime hobby of pissing off the entirety of Metro City, convincing them to hate him, and becoming something that nobody would ever trust. He'd dug his own grave, and solidified his place as King Asshole in the eyes of everyone to the point they actually questioned if he was even human.

He heard the garage door open and close as the Invisible Car left with his friends inside it. His growling shortly stopped.

The Evil Lair was now painfully quiet. Even the brainbots hid, knowing that his anger meant things being thrown that were much less fun than the wrench if they got in the way of them.

He weakly dropped down to his knees and sat in that same place, on the floor in a tired heap, unable to care about anything else around him. He was alone, and he could finally allow himself a moment to _grieve_.

The ground became blurry and distorted on him as bitter tears came through. He decided to stop fighting it.


	5. Chapter 5

Roxanne and Minion were actually hitting it off amazingly well after dropping Bernard off. Roxanne explained what Megamind had done as Bernard, and Minion connected the dots. "Ah, yeah, that explains a lot. I figured out that he was dating you, but..." He felt bad to say it, "I tried to stop him."

"And it didn't work." Roxanne hummed.

"Yep." Minion floated downward in his bowl, not taking his eyes off the wheel. "We got into a huge fight, and... I left."

Roxanne smiled sadly. "I... appreciate it. Thank you for calling him out on that."

Minion fluttered his fins nervously. "You're welcome, but... I hate to say it, but heeee really hasn't been the same since then..."

"How so?"

"Just." Minion wasn't sure how much was okay to say. "He's super focused on you? I've never seen him like this on something that wasn't a new evil machine. And I bet you've noticed, he's been super upset since saving the city. Maybe he's still mad that I left."

"Well... He took the breakup really hard." She noted, knowing it wouldn't be the only thing he was going through, but feeling guilt either way. "I... don't know at all what to do. I think he's hoping I'll give him another chance."

Minion gave a hopeful flutter. "Will you...?"

She looked up at him and back down at the floorboards. "I... I don't know. He's... a lot."

"Y-Yeah. That's fair."

Roxanne rested her elbow on the door frame and pressed the side of her face into her hand. She didn't know what she was doing here, but she wanted more answers.

"Minion." She asked softly. "How dangerous is he _really_?"

The fish blinked, unsure if he understood the question entirely. "Well, Miss Ritchi, I assume he's only as dangerous as whatever weapon he's using. But I don't think he'd ever dare to be a danger to either of us."

"Is... punching things like that normal for him?"

"No..." Minion answered, without hesitation. "He's had outbursts, sure, just like anyone would. Probably. I don't actually know, now that I think of it. But usually the worst thing that happens is a flying stapler or... remote... or yelling."

He sounded genuine, and she really wanted to believe him. But she also had to remember that his Sir was his top priority, and he may also just be saying nice things so Megamind will be happy, not because it's actually safe for her to be with him.

She sat quietly, getting what felt like a crazy idea, but right as she started to open her mouth to say something, Minion giggled to himself, reminiscing. "You know, it's kind of funny. When we were small, he denied ever wanting a lover! Swore up and down that he'd be better off by himself, and as far as I knew he had stuck to that alllll these years. He never really made friends or... anything. I don't know what changed that, but I'm kind of glad." He smiled at her. "I'm just a fish, you know, so my... uh, romance options and such aren't _nearly_ as complicated as all these complex emotions he seems to go through. It doesn't matter to me if I ever find someone since it doesn't seem to have the same connection to it that people like you tend to feel. All I understand is that it can make people really happy. And... if you make him happy, and he makes you happy..."

Roxanne stopped him. "I definitely appreciate what you're saying, Minion, but you're right, it's incredibly complicated." She sighed. "You're a really good friend to him. He's lucky to have you."

He huffed out a small puff of bubbles. "Ah, if I could blush I would! But I do mean it. If you wanted to stay with us, and with him, I... wouldn't mind having to wash the extra clothes-"

She stopped him again. "Oh my gosh, Minion, I get it!" She couldn't help but laugh. "But hey, seriously, I... have an idea. Do you mind if we make another stop?"

"Oh, sure! Where would that be?"

\---

It had been a couple of hours since they had left with Bernard. Minion happily hummed as he pulled the car into the Evil Lair, and Roxanne's anxiety returned. As the car came to a stop, Minion made a small noise of acknowledgment.

"Huh. Well, that may be a good thing or a bad thing. The Idea Wall has been completely changed."

Roxanne was just confused. It still looked like a chaotic mess to her. "Did it?"

As she stepped out of the car, her and Minion were swarmed with a happy puddle of brainbots, excited for their return. They were still really cute, and she was grateful that they clearly weren't ever programmed to attack her.

"Well, if they're not hiding, then Sir must've calmed down." Minion mused, grabbing the bags of food from the backseat. Roxanne decided to take his word for it and tucked one of the bags under her arm and she and Minion approached the Idea Wall, where Megamind was currently drawing up some sort of plan.

This space was probably the cleanest it'd been in many years. All the papers he'd hung up seemed... recent. And not a trace of anything that looked particularly "evil".

She smiled as she walked up behind him in his chair, impressed by all the intricate drawings, plans, and formulas scattered across multiple papers in a chaotic way that could only make sense to him. "Did you do all of these just now while we were away?"

Megamind seemed about as awkward as usual as he capped his pen and turned in his little swivel chair in his more usual theatrics, kicking his foot on the floor to stop it as he faced her. "Ah, Roxanne~. Indeed, I did." He tapped his fingertips together in a pyramid shape, the pen still being held between two of them.

She ignored his silliness like usual, still not wanting to give him the satisfaction of looking even slightly threatening with his ~oh-so-evil overlord~ posturing. She glanced through the confusing mess of images and equations ahead of her, raising an eyebrow. "Wow. So. What is all this?"

"Well," Megamind's attitude seemed a little more serious. "I'm creating a plan to restore the city. I'm hoping to start with the roads, and then the Metro Man museum, and eventually the Metro Tower Tighten oh-so-kindly decided to throw at us. I'm trying to decide how to divide up the workload on my brainbots in the most ef-fish-ient way possible." He turned in his chair to point at a page with his pen. "At any point I have around 10,000 brainbots stationed randomly throughout the city- as well as within here. So it should be absolutely doable, but I need to work out the fine details. There's multiple models of them out there, and they all have varying abilities and, well, weight limits. Things like that."

Roxanne blinked in amazement. This was only day one after saving the city from what was almost a complete disaster, and he was already finishing a bafflingly complicated plan to try to do what would be best to repair the damage their battle had done. She stepped closer, standing behind him to rest a hand lightly on a spiked shoulder. "I'm so proud of you."

He humbly lowered his head, grinning as he cautiously accepted her compliment. "Ah, it's nothing. This is easy stuff."

She gave a small laugh. "Yeah, sure. So easy."

He turned his head towards her, afraid to turn in his seat. "Please, mind the spikes?"

She lifted her hand and he turned to stand up, brushing his hands down his front to straighten out the wrinkles he'd made while sitting. It was weird how calm he seemed now, considering how upset he was before they left. She tried to get his attention on her, gently, without Minion noticing. "Hey, are you okay now?"

His eyes looked at her and flicked away as he found a good excuse to adjust his collar idly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I needed a minute."

She looked him over curiously. It felt like a lie, but she knew better than to pry and make him feel worse right now, deciding to let him have this one. "Well, good. I'm glad."

He looked at her in an oddly soft way that made her heart catch in her throat. Damnit, he looked so good, and it was hard to deny it. He may be kinda odd looking, sure, but even on his worst days he still finds the time to groom and wear things that look strangely appealing, even if those things are just an excessive distraction.

She also couldn't help but take note how vibrant and pretty his eyes were, especially whenever he looked at her.

Right as he opened his mouth to say something, Minion said something nearby, at the side table as he set down a flat of sodas they'd got at a drive-thru to loosely thumb through a stack of papers. "Sir, are you tossing these plans out? Oh- You loved this one!"

Megamind sighed, nodding to his fishy friend. "I'm retiring those ideas, Minion. We have a new priority now, and as much as I hate to say it, as you probably guessed our days as villains are almost certainly... over."

Minion's gasp is utterly comedic as he drops the rest of the bags he was holding on the ground. "W-Wait. So we _are_ the good guys, now?"

Megamind winced, sucking in a breath through his teeth. "I'm... not sure about that. But I think with time, we can make the city look fantastic again. It wouldn't have been torn apart at all if it... hadn't been for my mistakes, so... So let's just. Do the right thing. Yeah...?" His eyes glanced to Roxanne as he shrugged with a feigned smile, but she was speechless.

Minion looked elated. "Oh my gosh! Boss!" Minion rushed up to Megamind to pull him off the ground into a tight, gorilla robot hug. Megamind warbled something in protest, likely about being put down.

Once the fish set his boss back down, Megamind tried to fix his outfit yet again as he huffed. Minion hurried to dig through the bags of food, handing over a jumbo sized box of various donuts. "Here Sir, we got this for you!"

Megamind 'ooh'd' at the box and took it greedily, immediately tearing the safety tab and reaching in to grab one. He hadn't eaten yet, and he was certainly feeling it. He ungraciously bit into it, practically shoving half of the thing into his mouth like a hamster. Roxanne laughed.

His eyes widened and he realized how rude he was being. She had to be hungry too. He shyly offered her the box, and she dismissed it with a hand. "Ah, not right now, we actually got a snack on the road, but... Ask me later." Megamind shrugged, setting the box down and turning back to his idea board, uncapping his pen with half a donut in one hand. Minion took that as a cue to put away the other items they bought and go back to finishing their laundry, since the brainbots seemed to be mostly done retrieving what clothes of hers they could.

Those rare sides of him she liked? This was one of them. Megamind focused on a project was a Megamind that was happy, or at least seemed to be, and she couldn't help but smile while watching him work.

And wow. Wow. He was actually trying to fix what he'd done and denouncing decades of living as a villain. Just hours ago, he seemed like an absolute mess of a person, but now? Now he seemed so... Focused.

"You know, it's typically considered rude to stare." He teased, not taking his eyes from his work. She kept watching him quietly, and he eventually grew bothered enough to stop and turn to her again. "...What? What is it?"

"I... I uhm. Well, here." She took out the bag from underneath her arm, and pulled out a small black box, handing it to him. He took it quietly and cautiously, as if expecting some sort of explosive. She felt like she needed to explain herself, because now it felt extremely silly. "I just... wanted to give you something to show that, you know, things change, and get better. But hell, you just showed me that, yourself. So... consider it a gift for doing the right thing."

He laughed, looking confused at the box. "I mean. Sure? I'm... not exactly needing gifts for that, but... thank you?"

He lifted the lid, and his eyes widened in shock. It was a new smartphone.

He stared at it for a moment, before looking up at her with confusion. "...Why?"

She smiled, shrugging shyly. "You didn't have one."

He pulled the phone from the box and turned it on. Yep, it was absolutely fresh, and he genuinely wasn't sure what his emotions were doing as he looked it over. He shook his head at it and looked up at her. "I... don't know what to say. But... _Thank you_." His voice was soft, and his words sounded as genuine as possible. She swore it made her heart flutter to hear that.

Smiling, she nodded and decided to leave him be with his new toy, as she really wasn't meaning to distract him from something so important. She grabbed one of the sodas and stepped away to their living area, assumedly to rest on the couch for a while.

She sat on the couch and reached for the remote, but quickly hesitated and second guessed that idea. She really didn't want to see all the chaos of yesterday's events all over again. She sighed, slumping back against the soft leather. Being back in this spot again, she couldn't help but remember how nice it had been to just... exist right here with him, sleeping their troubles away. She decided to glance over the back of the couch, back at him.

She watched as he wordlessly messed with the phone a little, debating what to do with it before just setting it back down in the box, probably intending to figure it all out later. He closed it up carefully and rubbed his thumb over it, before setting it beside him on the table, next to those silly donuts. He went back to his work, chewing on the end of the pen as he tried to figure something out.

She smiled and pulled out her own phone.

A few minutes had gone by before the new phone vibrated in its box, giving him a small startle. He reached for it to check what the phone could have possibly needed of him already, but all there was was a text from an unknown number.

"Can we have our first date? Later tonight" it read.

He was speechless, and this time he turned around to look back at her on the couch, in which she giggled and shyly slid down behind the seat backing. He took a moment to take everything in, utterly stunned. He quietly turned his attention back to his new phone, quickly figuring out how to text her back.

"I would like that a lot. :)" he sent back to her.

\---

Megamind continues his work for a while, and he thinks he's figured out where all of the brainbots are going. Many of them are already out there at ground zero cleaning up the debris, and that was easy enough to set up. But repairing the city would still take many months, and despite many re-calculations, he couldn't realistically speed things up much more. It was disappointing, but the point was that it could be fixed eventually. It wasn't Metro Man's speed of things, surely, but it was still the best he could really do. He could at least understand that and give himself that sort of credit.

He didn't feel like much of a hero, but he could still at least _help_.

There was a distant click in the distance from a locking door. Roxanne had gotten a fresh change of clothes and had entered their restroom to take a much-needed shower. Megamind didn't flinch as he moved some of his notes around on the pin-board, reorganizing them a little better, but still chaotically as ever.

His thoughts still raced. Metro Man really wasn't returning at all, was he? The city still thought Megamind murdered him. It made him feel ill to think about. How was he supposed to be a hero? The entire city watched him "kill" their beloved hero. He had fake blood on his hands. Would he be able to ever convince Metro Man to come forward and help clear his name? Was that even fair to ask of him? Did he even deserve to have it cleared after all these years? What about- god, the Warden still thinks he's dead, too. The Warden was the closest thing to a father figure he ever had. He probably hates him. Everyone thinks Wayne is dead. How could anyone ever forgive such a horrible misstep?

And it wasn't like he was the only threat that plagued the city- there would easily be a resurgence of new villains planning to take advantage of the genius now that there was less threat of super strength and eye-lasers in the way. Metro Man had been, what appeared to be, invincible. Megamind had always appeared to be a nerd with way too many brains to properly execute his weapons and machines effectively most of the time. In fact, none of his inventions, outside of that one, had ever really worked. Admittedly, it turned out in the end that absolutely _none_ of them worked. Sure, they'd work on anyone who wasn't invulnerable to attack, easily, assuming he didn't rush through his plans and actually tested his machines before sending them out. If he sent his machines out now with that sort of carelessness, there would be a large chance that something breaking down or going wrong could absolutely harm civilians. Metro Man always caught his slack and protected the people. He swallowed thickly at the thought, realizing that he suddenly had to do more than show off his skill- he had to now actually focus enough to make sure they'd work perfectly.

He hears the shower turn on, and he suddenly launches from where he is, far into the lair, looking for his best friend.

"Minion!" he yells, more panicky than he'd like. Not seeing him, he starts searching every turn, every corner, repeating the fish's name over and over, hoping to be heard.

"MINION!" he yelped out again with increasing distress, and there was a loud clatter to his side, far off.

"Sir?!" Minion called back, and Megamind sprinted to his friend.

"Minionminionminionminion…!" Megamind babbled as he approached his friend, who had been trying to set up his Sir's busted hoverbike on supports to be worked on in the near future. It looked like shit, but perhaps not as much as Megamind at that moment. Minion blinked and dropped the bike to the ground with a loud clang of already dented metal, looking at his friend with undivided attention.

"Sir? What's wrong?"

Megamind wheezes as he comes to a stop, quickly realizing that if he's going to say his friend's name so much he should probably also try inhaling air as well. He throws his hands nervously on Minion's furry robot arms. His head sinks as he catches his breath with shaking shoulders. He's probably having a panic attack, but who's to say. He looks absolutely tense. Minion carefully reaches to put his hands on Megamind's shoulders, obviously unbothered by the spikes covering them. "Sir…?"

Megamind catches his breath and looks up at his friend with serious fear in his eyes. Minion searches them, trying to understand.

There is something about Megamind that he hasn't seen in many years. Many many years. It reminded him of when they were much younger, and still so very scared to be raised in a world where there was nobody else like them. Megamind reaching out to him in distress like this was not new, and not even uncommon all the way through their most recent adult years, but something about this felt… different.

"Minion…!" Megamind whispered, honestly loud enough to not really be a whisper at all. "She… she still wants to date me…!"

Minion's fins fluttered in surprise, but also confusion. "Wh- what?!" he blinks and looks at Megamind, not sure he understands. "I… why wouldn't she?"

"Why wouldn- what?!" Megamind tries to shake his bodysuit but it doesn't move that much under his hands. "Minion! I lied to her! I hurt her! I don't…! I-…!" He bites his lip and huffs through his nose, trying to make sense of everything. "Why the _fuck_ does she want _anything_ to do with _me_?!"

Minion draws back in his bowl a little at Megamind cussing. Okay, yeah, Sir is very distressed. He shakes his body in the dome with disagreement. "Sir, you saved her life!"

" _We_ saved her, Minion…!" he corrects, "But that doesn't mean she owes me this!"

"I… wait. Why would it be that she owes you?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Megamind wheezes again, trying to breathe for a moment, before going on. "She can't possibly want me! She has to be insane! It has to be guilt! She has to feel sorry for me! She has to-"

"No, oh my god, Sir." Minion takes his turn to shake his friend back, admittedly a little rougher. His friend seriously needs to ground himself. "That's not what I meant! Miss Ritchi enjoys her time with you, and you've been kind to her!"

Megamind sputters an angry growl of sorts, staring at his friend seriously. "Are you kidding me?! Did you hear how much I scared her earlier today?!"

Minion sighs and looks exasperated. "She was just worried about you, Sir."

"Why?!" he asks desperately, truly not understanding a bit of any of this. "Why should she care?!"

Minion's face twists into something of disbelief. "Why…? She cares because she can tell you're a good person…!"

Megamind scoffs at that, and Minion frowns at the dismissal.

"Sir." Minion says in an irritated tone. "I really don't think it was _you_ that scared her."

Megamind looks up at him, not really understanding. "Then what?"

Minion stiffens. "Tighten tried to kill her! Multiple times!"

"Tighten-" Megamind starts, blinking in realization. "He… he really did. Didn't he."

Minion nods.

Megamind is quiet for a moment, freezing as he gets lost in thought for a moment. He's quiet when he responds. "...Is she seeing _him_ when I get mad? Is that it?"

"Maybe." Minion says sadly. "She… I don't know if I should say this, but... She seemed worried that you'd hit that Bernard guy."

"What…?" Megamind breathed, confused and vaguely hurt. "I… no…!" he shakes his head angrily. "He's an infuriating prick, sure, that's obvious, but it still wasn't worth hitting him…!"

"Right, I know Sir." Minion added, gently. "But her measuring stick is currently a bit… skewed. I think."

"Hmm…" Megamind hums in agreement and thinks for a moment, still tense as hell but at least calming some.

Minion tilts in his dome, trying to understand. "I wish you could see yourself like how we see you. You don't give yourself enough credit."

Megamind sighs. "I just… don't understand. Of all the people in Metrocity… all the people on this planet... "

Robot hands squeeze his shoulders gently. He looks up at his friend with sadness in his eyes.

"Sir. It's going to be okay. She likes you. You just need to be yourself."

Megamind stares at his friend, as if searching for some sort of lie.

Minion deflates slightly, sinking as his fins droop. "Please believe me."

Megamind winces and looks down, away from his friend.

"Would it help if I helped you pick out something to wear for the date? When is it?"

"An hour." Megamind says with a nervous edge to his voice. "I was just going to go like I usually am."

Minion looks surprised. "What? Oh- Sir no, that's not what I meant by 'being yourself'. You should try to look nice for her!"

Megamind frowns, pulling back to gesture at himself. "What…?! Minion, I look fine!"

"You're not wearing spikes to your date, Sir."

"Why not?!"

Minion sighs audibly and grabs Megamind's arm, yanking him towards his bedroom.

\---

Minion picks out a nice outfit for Megamind while the ex-villain works to put on a thin line of eyeliner on, leaning into his dresser mirror.

"How about this one?" Minion chirps happily, holding up a fancy light blue multi-piece suit. Megamind pauses what he's doing to look at it, and scrunches his face.

"That seems like a lot for this."

Minion blinks, looks at it again. "Why?"

Megamind sighs. "Half of her wardrobe is scorched to bits. It doesn't feel right to rub it in." He goes back to putting on his eyeliner.

"Ah. I see. Hm." Minion puts that back and digs for a good minute.

Megamind pulls back from the mirror and looks at himself for a moment. He's resisting every urge to go thicker with the lines.

"So… casual?" Minion asks, holding up a long-sleeve shirt that fades from black to blue in a delightful ombre. There's a bit of button-down by the neck to accommodate his giant head.

Megamind makes a stinky-face at it.

Minion rolls his eyes, but digs some more. He pulls out a nice black long-sleeve button-up top with a sleek, almost snake-scale texture to it. Megamind 'ooohs' at it. "...That might work. Is that… too much?"

Minion shrugs. "It's up to you, Sir."

Megamind stares at it for a moment, then caps the lid on his eyeliner and tosses it onto the dresser as he starts to remove his clothes to change into it. Minion finds him a nice pair of black pants that would go well with it, and soon Megamind is clothed and facing the mirror again, replacing his studded belt as he looks at himself.

He's handsome like this, or at least he sort of believes that. But to her? It had to still look awful. This was him he was thinking about. He finishes rolling the sleeves up just over his wrists and shoots Minion a glance as if to ask for reassurance.

"Devilishly handsome, Sir." Minion beamed. He meant it. Minion noticed him leaving the top button open to let the neck of it flare out, and he knowingly moved in to close it, letting the neck of the outfit hug against him snugly. Megamind glanced in the mirror again. Yeah, that actually looked better.

He debated gloves, but… no. No. He needed to be himself.

Whatever that was.

"Hey, Sir?"

Megamind numbly heard Minion's nervous voice and turned back to him, and Minion quickly pulled him into a hug. He blinked in surprise, but hugged his friend back with a weak smile.

Even if this all went horribly wrong, he'd always still have Minion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah are we allowed to plug links? I have no idea. If anyone's curious I have a Spotify playlist of music I listen to get inspiration to write for this~  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0gDPUauhrTYdxJ5oBFETQK?si=c6abc84f6cb14b7b  
> Can't figure out how to make a link work here, but whatever! Enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab a drink. This one's a long one, with a lot of heavy talking. :x
> 
> Small warning for the non-con nature of Megamind's time as Bernard being thoroughly addressed.

Roxanne almost purred to herself as the warm water hit her. She had felt absolutely disgusting by this point, and she silently kicked herself for not doing this sooner. To be fair, she was in a new place, which was the home of her former regular captor, and she had had some concerns… But with Megamind's calmer attitude and his brainstorming to help the city and do right by it, it finally seemed safe. She just hoped he didn't secretly have cameras in the bathroom or something.

She'd break his legs. And something _else_.

Thankfully, it didn't seem like the brainbots ever entered the restroom for any reason, perhaps programmed not to- so it was free of peeping robot eyes.

She just let the water fall over her for a while, praying that the Lair had a good water heater that wouldn't suddenly leave her freezing cold.

Part of her felt crazy. After everything he'd done, she still asked him for a new date. It felt absolutely absurd. But the look on his face when he saw the phone, and then the text message? Absolutely priceless. Worth it. If she could somehow do it again, she would.

She wasn't sure why, but she would.

Roxanne looked over at the various bottles of soaps in the shower, then giggled. She still didn't know what the hell he needed the _shampoo_ for, but either way she was grateful for it.

-

Roxanne leaves the restroom behind feeling both fresher and happier. It had been amusing to use his towel to dry herself- it had still been the vaguest bit damp and chilly from a shower he'd taken earlier that day. She didn't mind it. But it also still didn't smell like him, which was a small shame.

Now in tonight's dress- blue this time- she just had to wait for their planned time.

-

Minion showed Roxanne the spot his Sir had picked for them, taking her up on the lift into the fake abandoned observatory, and helping her step outside and down onto the roof itself. Once her feet met the roof, Minion handed down to her a small brown paper bag. Roxanne took it while raising an eyebrow at him.

"Snacks!" Minion chirped, fluttering his fins. "I'm sure Sir forgot about food, so take that to him."

Roxanne smiled, hugging the bag to her chest. "You're so good to him, Minion. Thank you."

Minion smiles wide, full of sharp teeth. "Oh, no need to thank me Miss Ritchi! It's my job." There's a pause, and he asks gently. "Please be patient with him."

Her fingers tighten around the brown bag in her arms as she shoots him a knowing smirk. "No promises."

He doesn't seem to find it that funny, his fins slowing at his sides. He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't. She blinks. "What?"

Minion flutters his fins a little, sounding nervous. "Don't tell him I told you this, okay? He's… well, he's scared."

Her eyes widened at that. _Him? Scared?_ "...Wait, seriously?"

Minion nods in his tank. "He gets snappy when he's scared. I… I may be saying too much." He looks mildly ashamed.

"Okay Minion, I'll try." She smiles up at him reassuringly.

His fins flutter excitedly as he flashes more teeth again. "Thank you! Okay well, good luck on your date, Miss Ritchi!" His robot suit offers a quick wave as he backs off and back into the fake observatory.

She smiles wide. Minion is the sweetest. She had to wonder what kept him so kind after all of these years, when Megamind had clearly been affected by everything so differently.

Still hugging the bag to her best, she stepped to the back of the Lair's roof, towards the lake. It was a bit dark and hard to see, but she quickly noticed Megamind's illuminated face as he nervously thumbed around on his phone, standing next to two lounging lawn chairs of different sizes, one average sized one for him and another wider one clearly intended for Minion.

Megamind hears her feet moving along the rough texture of the roof and he turns to look at her, eyes wide before his face cracks into a slightly anxious smile. "Ah!" He turns off the screen to his phone and hugs his arms to himself as he tries to look casual. "Glad you could make it."

"It's not like I had to go very far," she smiles at him, stopping a few feet from him. "I didn't even have to call a cab."

She looks him up and down, feeling a strange tightness in her chest. He clearly had attempted to dress more "normal" for her. It didn't go unappreciated, and it honestly did look great. Megamind shuffled awkwardly and gestured to the bag, phone still loosely held in his hand. "What's that?"

She glances down at it and shrugs. "Minion said it was snacks."

"Oh…!" Megamind seems to deflate with relief. "Bless him, ungh... I was trying to figure out if anyone would deliver pizza all the way out here!"

She laughs, handing him the bag once he pockets the phone. "How would that even work? Do they just drive up and leave the food at the doormat?"

"Hell if I know." Megamind laughs. "I hadn't thought that part out yet. But this also works, if you don't mind something more casual…" He takes the bag and opens it, digging inside.

"Casual is perfectly fine." she assures him. "After everything lately, I'll take the blandness."

He pulls out two wrapped sandwiches, and offers them to her. "Well, nothing Minion makes is bland, but I think I get what you mean."

Roxanne picks one and he sets the other on the smaller chair, and pulls out a canned soda for her as well. When she takes it, he plops his butt into said chair, taking the other soda from the bag and crumpling it up to toss aside. He'll get it later. Probably. If he remembers. Maybe Minion will. Who cares.

She takes a seat on the wider chair and unwraps her sandwich, looking at him. "I don't think I've ever seen you in normal clothes."

He's opening his soda, and it clicks and hisses under his fingers. "Believe it or not Miss Ritchi, I do wear more comfortable clothes around the Lair from time to time." He shoots her a smirk.

She shoots him a disbelieving look, raising an eyebrow.

"...Okay, rarely. But I do…!"

Roxanne giggles, and takes a bite of her sandwich as she looks off at the water of the dimly illuminated lake ahead of them, and then at the towering cityscape in the distance. From this side of town, Metro City truly feels so far away. And now it looks… odd, without Metro Tower.

Megamind watches her for a moment, admiring her dress- which now came in blue? Oh, he liked blue. And the moonlight bounced off of her curved body delightfully.

He also couldn't help but notice the contrast of her beauty with the old dinginess of the old abandoned power plant he insisted was his. Something about that made him uneasy.

Certainly, there was not much of anything for her, here. Her heart belonged to the city, and the people in it. She was beloved by her regular viewers, who once looked up to her as the lucky love interest of Metro Man.

Megamind was, well. Loathed.

He tried to squash that thought as he looked out into the lake as well, and the absence of Metro Tower.

It felt so weird to look at, now.

He sighed, taking a bite of his sandwich. Roxanne looked at him with that, curious, but seemed to understand. "Yeah… It all feels much different now, doesn't it?"

He nods, swallowing down his bite of food. His voice sounds a little pained. "Everything is different. Literally everything."

She sighs sadly, looking away from him. "It really is."

He looks at her, unsure if he should say anything more. He clears his throat lightly and shifts in his seat, pulling a leg up and under the other. "Have you decided what to do about going back to work?"

She sighs. "I'm… going to call in the morning. I'm going to take a week. Maybe two."

Megamind delights at that. It means she'll be around more. He tries to mask his enthusiasm, asking, "Will they really let you? They have to be dying for that inside story."

Her tone is a small growl of bitter, amused words. "Oh, they won't dare fight it. Trust me."

He cracks a toothy, evil grin. "Oooh. Vicious."

She tears off a small chunk of bread and tosses it at him, he pulls back as it bounces off of him and hits the roof, and he laughs with a sarcastic, "Rawrrr~! So scary."

Roxanne took another bite as he did as well, trying not to choke from giggles.

She couldn't help but think of what Minion had told her. He's scared? He certainly doesn't seem like it. Nervous maybe?

Meanwhile, Megamind's brain was in overdrive.

A date. A date with Roxanne Ritchi. Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

This isn't real. She's pitying you. She doesn't want you. Look at you. Look at her. She's perfect. And you? What even are you? An ex-villain toying with the title of 'Hero' like it's something you've earned? Yeah right. One victory does not a hero make. It'll be a week tops before she can't stand you and goes home. But she can't go home, can she? She's stuck with you. She literally can't leave even if she wanted to. Maybe a hotel?

No. She didn't _want_ a hotel. NO, _she didn't want a hotel_. She wanted to be with _me_.

Don't be ridiculous, that's fucking stupid. Why would she want to be with _you_?

Megamind sighs angrily, reaching up to rub his eyes with a hand, attempting to dismiss all the intrusive thoughts running through him at lightspeed. Roxanne glances over again, looking concerned. "What's up?"

He doesn't respond, unsure how to talk to her.

She takes a last bite of her sandwich and chases it down with her drink, then tries again. Patience, Roxanne. Minion asked you to show him patience. "Hey. You can talk to me."

He grumbles, covering his face. "No. I can't."

She sighs and rolls her head to the side as she tilts her head, staring him down. "That's not for you to decide for me. I meant that. You can talk to me."

He sits there tensely, trying to find words.

How do you talk about this?

This is insanity.

This has to end.

He has to break this off before this can get worse.

It's for the best.

It kills him, it kills him so much.

But she can't be with him.

Megamind stiffly looked out at the lake as he set his food and drink aside, his voice wavering as he stared blankly on. "...Can we talk about what happened the other night, Roxanne? Please?"

Roxanne tensed at that, but despite the cold subject, his body language seemed... safe. Nervous, but safe. She couldn't place it, but he had been so kind to her so far, and much less volatile than he typically was as the Evil Overlord persona he'd worn proudly for years.

He was tense, and his chest fluttered as he tried his damnedest to stay calm as he spoke. "I... I don't think I can do this."

Ah, there it was. He really was scared.

Her expression sank as her eyes widened. She was... definitely going to need elaboration. Her voice was softer, wanting him to speak. Wanted him to just... fucking speak to her. About how he felt. For once. "You... don't think you can do _what_...?"

His chest still moved nervously, betraying every part of himself screaming to stay calm and collected. "I... I need to know, I... Damnit Roxanne, I need to _know_ ," his face twisted into something bitter and pained, "...I need to know what we _are_ right now."

Her heart sank. God, he was going to make everything so hard. "Are you asking if we're still in a relationship...?"

He grimaced, and turned to her, having difficulty keeping eye contact but clearly wanting to try as he fought himself. "Yes. I am."

Their eyes met for a small moment, and Roxanne decided that, if he was going to be vulnerable, she was going to try to get him to _actually_ talk to her. "...I was going to ask you."

He froze, his mouth hung open a little as he carefully considered his words. He swallowed thickly. "I'm... pretty sure it's over."

She looked away, trying to figure things out, herself. She wanted to say no, it wasn't over, but the truth is, it really felt like it had been.

"I realize," he added, looking away and yet nowhere. "I... You trusted me and I... lied to you. As Bernard. And I get it, I understand why you'll never trust me again. And it's... it's _fine_ ," it was very much clearly not, "It's fine, and it's unrealistic for me to expect you to want this to go on. Knowing it's me. I... understand."

He doesn't.

She chews her lip as she watches him, pained at everything. Well, he's talking. But the more she hears his voice shake with misunderstanding and shame, the more she wishes she wasn't hearing it.

"'Knowing it's you'...?"

"...Yes." He answered flatly, numbly.

"Megamind." Her expression softens. "I'm... So _happy_ it's you."

His eyes widen and he gives her a unbelieving look, as if frustrated that she would play with his emotions further. "Wh...Why?"

"Why? Because," She wants to be soft, because it hurts. It all hurts so much. "...You're a good person."

He makes a face, now _really_ feeling like she was just pulling him along. "No I'm n-"

"-YES. Yes, you are." She interrupted, leaning in to him more as she tried to reason with him. "Megamind." Her voice felt weak as she let a small, desperately dry laugh out between words, "You've been making plans to help the city."

"I owe the people out there for destroying their city with my mistakes! Roxanne, people _died_ because of me...!" His last words come out with a hint of despair to them.

She looked on at him in grim acknowledgement, listening. He gestured his hands in front of him, feeling absolutely sick in the pit of his stomach, "I'm not doing this because I'm some goody two-shoes hero, I'm doing this-"

"-because you hurt people." She finished. He stops, and she adds, "And you want to help make it right."

He steeled his jaw. "...Yes. I do. Roxanne, I'm a villain, yes. But hurting so many people, all of that damage- none of this was my intention! I'm no 'hero', look at me...!"

Her eyes softened, painfully. "Megamind... You're _my_ hero."

He looked at her, his mouth hanging open a little, trying to take that in for a moment, before softly beginning to protest, "...but I hurt you-"

"YES." She jabbed bluntly. "Yes, god, you hurt me. You hurt me so much..."

He felt his heart drop.

She continued, still trying to softly make her point clear, "...But I don't want to give up on you."

His eyebrows raised a little as he just looked at her, before laughing bitterly, sadly, lowering his head to talk at the floor. "You... you _really_ should."

"No." She said, her tone clearly getting upset at that. "Look at me."

He does, and his expression is some complicated twist of desperation and disgust.

"Why do you want to get out of this now? After everything we've been through?"

His tone sharpens as he growls out his words bitterly. "Because you're going to _leave_ me!"

She draws back a little at that. Her brows lower as she tries to piece his fears together. "Wait, why?"

"Because," he hisses, eyes watering without his permission as he bitterly admits, "you haven't figured it out yet...? Roxanne, I'm a fucking _alien_. I'm a _villain_. There's _nothing_ I can give you. I _know_ that. We're not... I'm... God, we're not even anatomically compatible...! I can't have kids with a human! You can't have a life with me! The entire city hates me, and may very well hate _you_ if you stay with me! Do you not understand...?! I'm not a fool, I _know_ where things will end up, I know-"

"Woah!" she stops him. "Hold on. Slow down. I'm sorry, but- but what the hell, I... Megamind, when did I ever say anything about wanting _kids_?"

He's very stiff, his eyes darting around as he thinks. Hard. "I... just assumed...!"

"Okay. So, one," she sighed, holding out her hands in a 'stop' gesture. "...I'm flattered that you're worried, but, you're just _assuming_ what I want. You've never asked me. Second, I'm going to need you to talk to me more about things like this moving forward, before it can get to a point it _hurts_ you like this...!"

He's stunned by that. He draws back a little and shoots her a confused look, "I... fine, what do _you_ want, then?"

She pauses, and her eyes fixate on his tense blue body absolutely radiating discomfort at her. Her voice is soft, and quiet. "Megamind. I want you to be my friend."

He freezes instantly, and doesn't respond, honestly in shock as he stares at her, trying to figure out what exactly she means by that.

"I just..." Her voice wavers. "I want you in my life."

His eyes widen and he looks at her, obviously pained. He hesitates for a moment, and breathes out, "I... want you in mine, too."

She smiles weakly at that, and nods.

They look at each other for a moment, and Roxanne decides to break their silence. "Here's the thing." she fidgets with her hands, her nerves rising the more he stares at her with those beautiful green eyes, pleading for her to not _hurt_ him. GOD. "If you want a relationship with a partner to work? It takes _work_. And you _especially_ should be their friend, before anything else."

His brow furrows, not sure he understands what she's getting at. "...I... can't exactly say I've had much experience with either of those, beyond well, Minion."

"Right. That's obvious." She says matter-of-factly, relieved to find he doesn't seem to take offense as she says it. "But you were doing a pretty good job, as Bernard."

That name basically chokes him. It's clear that he doesn't _like_ being reminded of it now, especially after this morning, but it needs to be said and he seems to be well aware.

She tilts her head a little, watching him. "And here's the thing. I don't even know if anything you told me during your time as him was true."

He swallows.

"Was it?"

His jaw clearly shifts as he adjusts the tension in it, not sure how he should be answering. "...A... lot more of it was than I'd like to admit."

She softens, looking at him. Remembering how nice it had been to just... hold his hand, talk with him about all the books he'd read, learn about shows and music and arts he enjoyed, everything. When he was talking to her then, he'd felt so safe.

And now, with his guarded villain persona permeating his entire self, it felt like he'd entirely closed her out. She couldn't really blame him, but it still hurt so much. She chose to hang on to patience, knowing what he was clearly capable of.

"Can you do that again for me?" She asks, her voice a little sad.

His eyes quickly leave hers, and he clearly thinks _hard_ on it before responding tensely. "I really want to try."

She smiles weakly at him, and rubs one of her arms idly. "Thanks. I'd like that. I miss your "Bernard"." she admits, a little sadly.

He seems to take that very wrong, visibly drawing back. She stares at him and he glares at the ground, trying to find his words.

"Roxanne. You… You need to stop wishing for Bernard."

She seems confused. "But you were your-"

"Myself?" he asks bitterly, looking up at her with angry, pained eyes. "God, Roxanne, no. Nonono, I was farther from being 'myself' than you could ever realize."

Roxanne blinks at him, not sure she understands. "But… What about when we-"

"-No! You don't understand!" He barked, tense. "Roxanne, if you're dating 'Me', you're dating Megamind. You know, the guy you could _never_ be with?! You're dating all of your history with me. You're dating every time I captured you and dangled you in front of Metro Man. You're dating every nasty thing you've ever said about me. You're dating every night you went home and cried because of me. I'm not Bernard, and I… I can't pretend I am…!" He held out his blue hands, staring at them. "Yes, yes, God, I faked it well. I know I did…! But I didn't think it would last, and it didn't matter what I said then, okay?!"

She blinks at him, obviously hurt by that.

He continues, "I… I can't do it! If you're with me, you're with me as myself, as an alien supervillain that Metrocity utterly loathes! You get to hide in my dark dirty lair and deal with my machines and robots and… You'll be harassed, hell, tormented if you announce you're with me in public…!" He breathes suddenly, his chest heaving with stress. "What are you going to say to people, Roxanne? 'Oh haha, I'm dating this guy named Bernard, he's definitely real and definitely not the city's Number One enemy in disguise…!'? No! I don't want that…!"

She starts to reach out, attempting to calm him, but he continues, "I don't want to just sit here and wait for you to figure out on your own that, hey, yeah no, Bernard isn't coming back…! I don't want you to just wake up one day, look at me- _really_ look at me- and think, 'Oh my god I made a huge mistake!' I don't want you expecting me to be someone that _isn't me_ in my day to day life! Who you get has been a damn supervillain, and it's going to end in nothing but _tears!_ "

He finally stops, possibly wanting to say more but his breath is ragged as he tries to stop whatever anger and panic has decided to fill his chest. It feels vaguely like choking. It feels vaguely like dying. He stops staring at his hands and throws them at his face, holding them there and making an aggravated sound, trying to fight back threatening tears.

She's never going to stay.

Roxanne just… stares at him, looking both terrified and somehow… very guilty. She looks at the ground, swallows. She's never seen him like this, and he seems so _mad_ that it terrifies her somewhat.

"...Megamind," She starts carefully, and pauses. He's still, and doesn't reply. She hopes it's just that he's listening. "...I… Come here."

He looks offended, dropping his hands slightly and looking over at her with a pained glare.

She scoots aside, and pats the space in the chair next to her.

She wants to believe he's not a danger to her.

She wants to believe. So much.

"Sit with me…? Please?"

He stares for a moment, studying her, and hesitating to move because the tension in his back feels like it will snap his spine if he so much as twitches.

There's a moment of silence between them, and he finally stands up with a sigh, and carefully comes over and climbs into the oversized chair, careful not to brush his thin body against her as he sits, laying against the backrest and looking uncomfortably stiff.

He stares out, into the water, looking at it like there's something distant about it that he desperately misses. She's not sure she understands what's going on in his head, but she does know one thing:

He likes holding hands.

Megamind inhales sharply when her hand takes his, and pulls it to her side, between them both, and squeezes. His chest flutters nervously as he tries to figure out what she's doing to him.

"I'm so sorry." She says, shakily.

He slowly looks over at her. He notices she's started crying. Regret suddenly fills his heart.

Oh no.

Her other hand reaches up to rub the tears out of her eyes, and she doesn't look back at him, just ahead, into the same empty lake ahead of them.

He doesn't know what to do other than calm himself for now. He carefully gives her hand a squeeze in return. She doesn't say anything else as she tries to collect herself.

He looks downward and chews at his lip, sighing exhaustedly. He's much more gentle with his tone, now. "I'm… sorry too. I'm _so_ sorry. I wish I could be the person you wanted. I wish I could make everything right."

She sniffles and looks at him, trying to collect herself. "No… No, Megamind, I'm sorry. I've just been… I don't know what we should do now that we're in this spot."

He sighs. "...Yeah. I don't know either."

They sit quiet for a while. Her thumb rubs against his and his eyes close for a moment, while he thinks.

He has to fix this.

With a large sigh, he lifts his other arm up, putting it behind his head as he tries to relax next to her. It's definitely not coming as easily as he'd like, but he knows he needs to try. He steeled himself as he tried to keep his tone soft to help.

"Okay. So. How about this." he starts, looking away a little. "I can't be Bernard. But I can be myself."

She looks at him, patiently waiting for him to elaborate, since he clearly had more to that.

"Ask me anything," he adds, uncomfortably. "Anything, Roxanne. I'll be as honest as I can be."

She blinks, a little surprised. She looks down, thinking hard about that.

She looks back up at him, her eyes focused on his nervous face as she watches him. "...You said the other kids in school didn't like you. That was… that was true, wasn't it?" It all made sense now. It had to be true.

He winced a little, still looking away from her distantly. "Oh, heh. Yeah. No, they hated me the moment I arrived. They didn't even really try to know me."

Her expression saddened, pained. It made sense.

He continued, a little hesitantly, "And, well. Wayne was there."

"Wayne…?" She blinked, then stiffened. "Metro Man, Wayne…?"

He nods, "Yes. That Wayne."

She turned, turning her whole body to him to let him know she was fully listening to whatever he had to say. He glanced over at her and smiled nervously, his eyes clearly pained. "...I didn't know you'd been there at the same time as him. I… my god, Megamind, I can only imagine how the other kids were, with him there."

He searched her face for a moment, looking vaguely comforted despite the look of pain in his eyes. "...Right. Don't worry," he laughs dryly, "It didn't last long."

Her hand squeezes his reassuringly as she looks at him, adding softly, sadly. "I still wish we could have gone to the same school."

His heart did a thing. His face twisted a little with a bombardment of emotions he wasn't aware he could feel all at once like that.

He pictured a younger Roxanne, holding a dodgeball under her small arm as she reached out an eager hand to him with a smile on her bright little face.

He may have stopped breathing for a moment, with realization hitting him like a freight train as his eyes went wide.

"I… I get it. What you said."

She searches his face, admittedly nervous. The look on his face had been the most human thing she'd ever seen of him. "Which?"

He looks down, between them, mostly at nothing. His breath almost a gasp with realization. "When you said you wanted to be my friend." His chest heaved a little as he grew nervous. "I… I get it, now. Why it's important."

She gave him a small, patient smile. "I meant that, you know." Her hand squeezed. "It's hard to be with someone who isn't willing to be your friend."

He breathed, admittedly shocked by his epiphany moment. His fingers twitched behind his head, and he just… thought for a moment. "...Wow."

She watched him with loving eyes, and smiled. Gosh, he was so silly and confused when it came to these sorts of things, but she was relieved and willing to believe he was telling the truth. For once. She studied his dumbfounded expression for another moment, then asked carefully, "Are you ready for more questions? Or do you need a moment?"

He blinks and shakes his head, looking over at her with a look of renewed faith in his features. Her heart skipped a beat to see him so genuine. "Oh, yeah, no, it's fine, ask anything. I meant it."

"Hmm." She hummed, trying to choose carefully. "Megamind-" she hesitated, then continued. "...Are you happy?"

He blinks a few more times, his face scrunching a little as he frowns at that. "Happy…?"

"Yeah," she adds, "Like, in general."

He looks confused at her question, but answers truthfully. "In general? No. Not at all."

She squeezed his hand. "Why?"

He inhales, trying to figure out how to elaborate on such a loaded subject. "I mean... I have depression? I'm a villain with no purpose? I keep hurting you? There's a lot of reasons."

"Oh. You seemed so happy as a villain." She acknowledges, knowing those days are pretty much over, "but you weren't, were you?"

He chews his lip, looking at her for a moment. "I… enjoy making machines, and weapons? I feel absolutely alive when I'm 'on', so to speak. But… no, I don't think I'm exactly happy? But it's not like I have a choice in that."

"Uh, describe 'on'?"

"Like, okay." He moves to wave his free hand in the air in a passive gesture. "When there's cameras, and a scene, and a fight? It's… thrilling. There's nothing quite like it. Any fears I have wash away because I'm too busy, er, performing, I guess." His hand drops to his side. "I don't have to think about anything else, because all I need to focus on is the show."

That makes sense, she thinks, searching his face. She grins. "You're basically a lonely theater kid then, huh?"

He scoffs, but grins. "I guess, yeah?"

"A shame." she adds, "You put on a very good show."

"I… I do…?" He asked, a little more desperately than he'd have liked.

She smiled. "Like, don't get me wrong, you pissed me off regularly, but I have to admit, you sure made my life interesting with all your flashy lights and mechs."

He beamed. "I try, Miss Ritchi~!"

"Roxanne." She corrected, "No need to be formal about it, now."

"Oh, I mean. Yes. Roxanne." He said with a hint of a blush.

He shifted to turn to face her, and now they casually faced each other. He seemed so much calmer than he'd been just a few minutes ago, and it was amazing for her to watch.

"Okay, what else?" he asked, actually sounding like he was enjoying this.

She bit her lip, her expression growing nervous as she heavily debated on the next one.

Her silence went on a little long, and he frowned a bit. "...What is it?"

"Megamind," she started, hesitating and afraid to meet his eyes, "How… How far were you going to let things go between us, while in disguise?"

He visibly drew back as his eyes widened, shocked at such a question. "I… pardon…?"

She nibbled her lip, closing her eyes in a tired sigh as she reworded her thoughts to make herself perfectly clear, "Were you going to let things keep going until you could have sex with me?"

He nearly choked, and his face went bright purple in the moonlight as every part of his face winced. "...Roxanne!"

"I'm serious!" She growled out, and it made him freeze.

He stared at her, searching her face for a moment, his expression pained and a little insulted, but gentle, "I… no. No I would not have. I wouldn't have let it get that far. It wasn't even supposed to get to kissing." he laughed a little dryly in his words.

She looked up at him, relieved to hear that but also a tiny bit disbelieving, "But you did."

He just stared painfully, taking the blame for that.

"...So how do you know," she asked, "that you wouldn't have let it keep going…?"

His jaw dropped, "I… Roxanne, what- NO! No, oh my god! I… you don't understand…! My intentions weren't-"

"But you did." She stopped him.

He stared at her in slight exacerbation, looking utterly offended but unable to disagree. "I… didn't mean to. I promise."

"Then how'd you slip?" She asked pointedly.

He winced, gritting his teeth for a moment, trying to figure out what to tell her. This was extremely embarrassing but he knew he couldn't run from it. "I was… I was lonely, okay? I slipped, I stopped thinking."

Her expression softened, but it was still obvious that he'd hurt her deep that night, and that this would not be a fast road to forgiveness. She smiled weakly. "And you don't think you would have taken it farther? Out of loneliness?"

"No…!" he answered hurriedly. "I… my god, Roxanne, please believe me, I don't know why you're thinking I would do anything else but- but I wouldn't…!"

She searched his face, and smiled. "...I do believe you. I don't understand you, but I believe you."

He deflated a little, squeezing her hand back. His face was still hot with embarrassment. But at least she took it well?

She rubbed his hand and looked at him, smiling. "Thank you."

He looked at her, really wanting a subject change as he smiled weakly. "Yeah. Um, anything else?"

"Hm." She thought, shooting him a small grin. "You haven't been with anyone before, have you?"

He looks absolutely frustrated. "Oh, COME ON." His expression droops. "Roxanne, I- I've been waiting for you to ask for clarification on the whole 'I'm an alien' thing and…! And you're not asking! And I'm stressed out!"

She draws back a little, smiling as she raises an eyebrow. "I mean, I was getting to that, but okay. Fine. You said you're an alien."

His chest rises and falls as he huffs through his nose. "I am."

She lifts his hand and presses it to her chest, near her collarbone. "So that's why your early records are missing?"

He nods sadly, frowning. "I hid any evidence I could. The Warden agreed to keep it quiet."

"That makes a lot of sense," she hummed.

"I… really would rather Metrocity never figures this out, by the way." he mentions seriously.

She nods lightly. "Right, I won't say anything. How young were you when you came here?"

He sighs, eyes leaving hers. "I was eight days old. My planet was hurtling towards a black hole. My parents sent me here, with Minion."

She mouthed a 'wow' silently. "So you really did hide a lot of records, then."

He hummed in agreement. "Yes, well. If you really want to know? Ask the Warden. Tell him I sent you."

She's surprised and nods. "You're… not afraid of me finding anything out?"

"Not really." he answers flatly. "You already have my word. If you don't believe me, you'll just go searching for the answers anyway."

"True." she acknowledged. Somewhere in this, his fingers had shifted to thread between hers. She hadn't noticed when it happened. "Thank you for trusting me."

He shrugs lightly, and closes his eyes as he awaits more prying questions.

She stares at him a moment, then smiles. "You know, you really do look good."

His eyes snap back open, and he's back to blushing. Was she serious? "I… um, thank you?"

She giggles. He's so shy.

He smiles in return, seeming to appreciate the comment heavily. "Aside from my handsome physique… Any other prying questions?"

She takes a deep inhale, just smiling at him with adoration on her face. "Not yet. But. This is nice. I really do enjoy this."

He smiled back, squeezing her hand. "If you want to do this again? I… don't think I would mind the interrogations. Honestly." he laughed. "I'm kind of surprised to say that, but… it's true."

Roxanne smiles. "Yeah. I would love to do this again." her smile turned a little sad. "I missed this."

He hummed with a small nod. "Me too."

"Say. Do you mind if I… well… Can I use your bed tonight? That couch did me very few favors." she asked shyly.

His eyes widen, and he seems relieved. "I was actually meaning to ask if you minded that. My neck has been killing me all day. As well as... _everything else_ , from yesterday." he said the last part with a groan.

She rubbed her thumb against his fingers one more time and removed her hand, sitting up. "Great. Thanks, I really could use that."

He hated when her hand left, but he understood. He smiled up at her, sitting up as well. "Ask Minion where it is, I'll be there soon enough." He stretches and his thin body flexes almost bonelessly, like he's a cat. "We gotta do this again! Soon. Very soon."

She smiles at him softly, practically glowing. "Of course. I'd really love that."

He hesitates at that. He never did get his answer from before. He watches her stand up, but he scoots in the seat closer to her, reaching out to carefully touch her wrist. "Roxanne. Wait."

She blinks, looking down at him. "Yes?"

He breathed nervously, his face both hopeful and pained as he looked up at her. "So… what are we, now?"

She nearly stopped breathing as she stared at him, seeming worried.

Ah.

Of course.

He takes that as his answer, and begins to pull his hand back, but she catches it in hers and pulls it towards her. She offers her other hand to him.

"Let's start with being friends." She smiled down to him, a bit sadly. There was a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. "We can figure out the rest as we go."

It wasn't the answer he thought he wanted, but he had to admit it was still a very good, hopeful answer. It was still much more than he felt like he deserved.

He took her other hand, smiling up at her softly, hopefully. "I like that plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... fun fact! This chapter was the first I wrote for this fic, and I later came back to it and hated it! So I completely scrapped it and re-wrote the entire thing from scratch to fit the fic's tone better! And I'm dead inside because it was SO HARD lmao
> 
> Needless to say I worked hard on this one, and would love feedback~! I hope you're not too mad at me for how it ended, lol XD


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